I begin, as it goes, creating a Frankenstein quilt of memories, where I teach myself how to love, and how to be loved. I paint scenes in which intimacy is captured in a snapshot-like image, where gaze is inviting yet daunting, and overall, intimidating. The perplexing and unusual objects and environments that are consistent with the midwestern aesthetic fill the canvas, sometimes accompanied by the characters of my family. It is uneventful, domestic, and frozen in time. I invent complicated, overstimulating, and eerie images in which my characters or objects act out the intangible memory I am desperately trying to grasp.
I revel in the tangible feeling of love, yet I wonder how to express intimacy, indulge in it, and accept it. I look to the women in my family as pioneers of the lifestyle I have always desired. What does it mean to ‘Have it All,’ and to be the career woman who loves and is loved? I am perplexed by my position within my family dynamic. I see myself carrying on in the position that my mother previously occupied. I am an accepted and cherished outsider--one who does not quite fit, yet is nonetheless loved. I have been raised to idealize the suburban lifestyle, but find dissatisfaction in the mundane. Despite my family’s unconditional acceptance, it is impossible to not feel alienated from the family dynamic. These complex relationships with my family further complicate my understanding of love and the concept of family itself.
This emotional state I am often expressing is, indeed, this contradictory mixture of both alienation, and familiarity. To express this, I juxtapose dark, earthy tones with extraterrestrial fluorescents to give a sense of unwelcome intimacy between the subject, the space, and the viewer.
I seek further understanding of my relationship to my family, and how this position I hold has created the foundation for my relationship to love. These dissolving memories desperately need to be rekindled, so that, perhaps, I may find where I belong, and what my love should look like. This melancholy nostalgia seems, at least, to be a step toward discovering where the balance lies.

Through painting, I wear elaborate costumes and place myself directly into the role of iconic fairytale characters. My self-portraits occupy dark atmospheres with multi-color lights dancing off them and their surroundings to emulate those of a night club. I hint to these exciting queer environments because, like fairytales, I only occupy these places in passing day dreams. Through juxtaposition of realism and fantasy, I find that I’m able to be more vulnerable with expressing my desire to feel comfort within myself.

I do not write the way I speak. I do not speak the way I think. Do I paint the way I move?

I put my own life into a certain shape, remove all coverings little by little, until I am naked in
front of you. The strangers in the paintings are my friends; the people I know best. The
background is often empty and the figures blurred, like the person who cannot distinguish
between reality and dreams. As for those darker colors, it’s the endless fear and hesitation, the
impetuousness and jealousy under the brushstrokes. I hope they will find some peace in the end.
The monotony of life leaves my paintings without too many colors. The kind of obscurity and
indistinct look into the truth that I have deliberately considered.

Blue is my expectation; red is drifting. The stars twinkle at night. If they cannot be seen, they
might covered by dark clouds.

I was born in Arlington Heights, Illinois. The core of my practice is to always be searching and to allow new spaces to appear and to then try to make something from that point on. I utilize many different mediums from paper cuts, collage, mixed media as well as the medium I use most, painting. Most of my work is done with oil paint, but I also use acrylic paint, color pencil, pencil, pen, and oil pastels. My pursuit within art is to focus on centripetal and centrifugal force and shifting dimensions for the viewer within that focus. I think allowing myself to go places I haven’t before has allowed myself to connect and link the act of creating new spaces with my pursuit of concentrating on centripetal and centrifugal force and seeing where that will take me and the viewer. I hope I could communicate the connection of centripetal and centrifugal force, shifting dimensions, and creating new space.